LONG BITTER NIGHTShe is ivory a blasted plain a mountain It is plain to see the cold that lies under her crossed armsA flower drifting though its glassy surface rings sufferingEyes held closed will break through gum and send a coin to the windNobody helps what they can’t see and all I see is something from meA gift that could not be withheld though I would keep it backShe is the snow glistening on frosty glasses in the darknessThey clang with happy facesThere is chill that lies withinThat cannot be denied Though passing forests through the air would hide itIt is that which is forbidden that allows you to live a simple lifeBut one of us has to be what cannot be for me tonight She comes to me in whispers passing over coke bottles in flightI am the child following afterRun with me through the fields though fear and sluggish snow would bar the wayThis is the day we take it backThis moment now we take the day for all the nights we’ve been painedHide the sun and make it all go away-Zak Jarrett

PASSING OUT OF TIMEI am aloneNo teeth of sword nor edge of axe could saveRather than damn meThough damned I stood already in alien eyesThose that once walked these forests and moved low in these cavernsPassing me with reverence of brethrenRather than the scorn of a thoughtless enemyI am unreachableHidden in the dark my last sanctuary from the blighted lightShinning from those eyes once so soft though no longerThey who would wipe this world clean of meWho would pass over my home like a diseased windThey carry their fire close to their heartsBlackened to our cries of painOur refusal to die out lost its grip first long agoWe now pass with written easeNow set in stone with the hands of former companionsFormer walkers of these wooden halls and hollow chambersTurned betrayersNow in silence I hang in noticeable self-denialSkin stretched taunt hides my face from hunger unsatisfied To quicken my will with bitter sweet innocenceFinding it soon time to shut it downTo stop the endless march left so unsettlingly tiresome by timeTo cease once more and be nothingGive me the abyssGive me release-Zak Jarrett

FROG BASEBALL
we were past the horizon
explorers ready to fail
passing raindrops
roaring storm god greeloaders
chanting in the forests dark glow
puzzel makers water walkers
mountain climbing pigeon nest raiders
we were lighter bearing warriors
sellbound hellbound mischief makers
sand dwelling ocean pick pocketts
the scurge of the home self butterfly cousins
radical surf shifters buzz chilling ages
blood soadked in sugar sweet exticies
we were gods till the voice came
booming angry whip ready wengence
pot marked and bellied beast
we went to it with the setting sun
-zak jarrett

SEA OF GRASS
i am here among the faceless blades
pixies hair on a giants head
to large to see the ears from field
a baldspot clear yet enginiered
i have a friend whose face is hiding
peaking from his glowing bed
cotten balls died gray with the night
cinders nesteld overhead
i am a leaker a shrieker the sad
cut lose with the loss of red hot words
blazed across the face of placid air
stinging blue eyelid pliers ghastly white statues
unhearing unseeing unwanting
or rather i am wanted but hunted
alone in color drained misery
where steps on ink horizon haunt me
my tears fall heavy unsparkling without sun
or the friendly faces pale lite to bide me time
i am stinking thinking shrinking
from the possibility of joining
the members out of eyeshot
and more than that my ears are shot
silence booming sapping strength
i walk forward from this place
still alone
i muttered a plead for aid in the dark
though none did come to me
those without left as such
and such is the end of a sad sad day
-zak jarrett

PASSWORD
hey baby i gotta lay it all out
i got this one little thing i just cant live without
i got my three chess pieces
my gun in my bag
but the thing i want the most
is the shit i cant have
hey baby girl i gotta say this tonight
i got my head strong will
and a golden pipe
but the shit i cant have is the shit i cant see
its seems what im missing is missing me
seperate my anxiety from pioty
the funk of ages frying me
i spoke then i choked
but these words cant stay inside of me
you see it chages everything
simple things that cannot be
idled disconcerningly
cause hey baby your part of me
but so is uncertainty and the shit that holds me back
i gotta split this is it
this shit is tearing me appart
and i fart but it blows my mind
deep astride my holy hide
i feel this ebbing flow then i know
its the trap that i've set
catch truth in false nets
and i fret
cause it makes no fucking sense
give me peace
-zak jarrett

STOLEN CHILDHOOD
I cant do this
I cant remember
Not because I am unable
Not because it's forgotten
But for my sake
For sanities sake it must die
I wish I didn't know
I wish I didn't dream those dreams
Memories bloom and die
I have one I want to kill
I can't stand this
Living even this simple lie
It would be easy to say
It would be hard to accept
Those close to me is a joke to me
Even as a simple child
I lost my found memories
Murdered by a truth that could not hide
Those close to me is blasphemy
That time for me is dead to me
Those there for me did die for me
Though they never really tried for me
Fuck them all they abandoned me
Mistreated and mishandled me
In my forgotten memories
Those thoughts that are banned from me
Fuck them all
-Zak Jarrett

ACROBAT
this is the tank table battle axe
splitting hairs while trying to relax
unsteady unstable unnable
the man of many syrups
i am calling to say that i cant run away
when the tin man and dorathy bring down the hammer
though i'd rather dodge blows with word shows
spasmatic acrobatics cant stop that habit
ringing around the rose wrapped head of mine
with fluttering vines all about
i admit it im tied down
to shaking monster a merciful sadist
cooking breakfest to tell us she hates us
but why is suffering
when sparkles ever the simple thing
that lies upon the head rose wrapped
and brings in the morning
taking down the moon
-zak

RESTLESS DREAMS
do you know this thing
that which makes me what i am
do you know the way
that i
can feel how i can
i am the red god
i am
i'll paint the cities black
i know just when it comes
and i know that when it passes i am
the kind
the cold
the broken glass
snuff out the flame
rot the flower
see who i am
the terror
the wraith
the walking man
all of you have simple songs
then they end
and you then feel what i am
-goatman

END OF SAD SAD SONG'S
what is I but a thing i say
when i got nothing to say about me
and i wanna say anyway
or anything
all about me
its a fucking shame that i cant reflect
of here or there or they or anything
that isn't all about me
and i scream
i got a girl a got a chance i got a life
what does it matter then if i cant keep my strife
so i say
i got a way to say everything is passing through me
what does it matter if no one really cares
but me
its all for me today
give me a fast car and a nice place to live on
im getting a new life
might as well get everything
just for me
-zak jarrett

WAITING IN SILENCE
There are strings that hold all things
just benieth the surface
skin is only skin deep
blood is forever
see the world through a bottle
the force becomes wet paint
a sentinel a guardian
blinded by its hate
its watching me what will it see
invisible and blind
I drown in hare the pretty mare
beauty redefined
she's far away what would I say
if distance shrank to none
the gabber told in twenty fold
cast in ghastly pun
-zak jarrett

REFLEX-ACTION
mild discomforts converging
you call dissapointment suffering
knowing nothing of the pain I see
controlling everything
this is the crux
you don't believe what you must
I'm on a mission of pain
it's up to me
never needs only wants
you can't believe what you must
while I am going insane
It's up to me
do you know the way you started life
innocence lost
do you know that you are dead inside
nothing left
why do you leave me to myself
my life unworthy
my pain is gone
my quest is lost
I want my life back
It's up to me
-goatman

CORENER'S CORIDOR
there are wonders that are hidden
just around the corner
half glances at beauty in lust
short skirt day dreams filling me for later
tragic sunset credits rolling on
just around the corner
where no one knows the magic word
etched in stone a library fortress
catagorized in orderless jest
allways a ready hand is my own
just around the corner
gazing pepper on the moody thunderstorm
watching waiting planning for mistakes
winding roads with goose bump scribes
taking notes and telling lies
misery the queen of flies
just around the corner
my corner
-zak jarrett

BEHOLD THE BLIND MAN CAN SEE
what is it about the eye
that drawn in any quallity
if allways with accuracy
in a certain clarity
opens up the soul
a face can be a circle
the bends can be a line
a figure may be noticed
with the image of the eye
a blind man faces me
where does his esence lie
in curve of cheak
in bulge of smile
sits the image of the eye
-goatman

CURSE OF REMEMBERANCE
i remember her
she was never there
i time of life that never happened
mistaken for some one who cares
she is not there
pleasent illusion to help me get through this
with every glancing smile
every striking pose
a memory from those who never say hello
a good morning a good day a good timeshe is just a vision
bu she is not mine
she is not there
child saftey window
i can see but not get out
situation passing
with time i will forget
forget the undone memories
of i time i never had
i will live them now
i will see her smile
i will know the now
as i make up for the bad
-goatman

UNTITLED
ever waiting
i cant stop hating
even more my mind is shading
black and white
i see my plight
i risk madness every night
a voice to speak with booming thunder
i will tear the world asuder
several unfortunate mishaps
i'll let the maggots have the scraps
on the edge of dominating
my whole sense of self is fading
i dont want to be creating
a monster of myself
-goatman(zak jarrett)

THE STORM
a storm is comming and i am waiting
waiting for its wind against my door
waiting for the wind on my back
a soft hand pushing me forward
sighing with the passing winds
wanting with the falling rains
first drizzling then dripping and wetter still
the sky opens up and my need calls it
the storm churns forward and my want fuels it
give me the reigns and i will thunder
give me the rain and i will come down on you
i am the whisper the lightning the loss
life torm away in the fray of mine
i wanted you and now you've found me
a sight to see a flood of lust
called forward from the night
but there are allways bars to hold us appart
chains to seperate power from dust
i will be there as that harsh wind cuts
to drink its darkness
i want the life that the storm has in store
i want the death that nature has bore
i'll take it all into me and more
i'll absorb the rightious whore
set my plate for another meal
it moves for me
moves with me
wanting for me
touching for me
it moans with my moans
rapes with my fantasies
i want to be it someday
-zak

SKY NECKLACE
Is this passive aggressive enough
I'm not sure
hell is just beloow the surface
pleasure is only skin deep
let me go into the realm of sad sad songs
cast out into the halls of the blind
arcane is the only way
mystisisym will lead us to the right
not astray
there are things that onlyt see cannot see
most just seek to get complete
i wont take this mind rape
only say what you mean
less you no longer mean what you say

decafinated sedated nation
exploding from your constipation
we are walking from station to station
shooting bottle rocketts at my eyes
aiming for the moon
shatter the dome sky
breaking out of this room
sitting on the tin roof top
spitting out the seeds
im lobbing cherry bombs
hanging from the beams of my own universe
the ony verse that i dare to sing
im floating witht he smoke over bowling alleys
hear the clap of thunder
with my brains sad folley
her name is malevolence
and i dont know why
i see her every time i cry
its about time i wasted life
-zak

STOP KEEPING MY DISTANCE!
I play it every single day
I take a look and go away
you'll never hear what I would say
because I play the staring game
I look at you my mind asunder
until you begin to wonder
my intentions right or wrong
or why I just cant move along
I look at you my eyes are sailing
I look at you my heart is failing
you look at me and think me wrong
I look at you till you are gone

still here FREAK!
back strapped into my chair again
face pressed to the screen
you wont forget me when im gone
I've just been too obscene
that's the plan leave a mark behind
enough...
-zak

NEWSPEAK
will you give me your answers
impartial unbiased truths
cause I just don't have any reasons
for why I have squandered my youth
your lives my tries
its not so simple
my sighs your cries
we're not the same anymore
and no one knows
why its not easy
but all I know
is that my body aches
and I break
im not the same anymore
-zak

TRINITY
sometimes i roll my eyes into my head
to see what i can see
mountainous emptiness
cacophonous harmony
i drone for days without control
until the days there take their toll
leaving me without but with a gift
unwanted is the mind that lifts
above the crowd i soar higher
the vice on my brain is getting tighter
is all i have alli can see
the emptiness iniside of me
days will come and days will go
with history the time will flow
past to present without end
does this river flow within
susceptible to the passing hours
mortal men hide and cower
time their hunter stalking slowly
waiting for the time to show me
dead inside
death outside
this hollow shell holds my mind
bitter beast a lurching monster
ticking off minutes waiting for the hand to fall
a simple sign to end you all
is the furture as bleak as it seems
a wasteland of horrid things
where me and death walk empty streets
hand in hand with a friend like me
this is where i'll be
-goatman

PRECEDING TRUE LOVE
this is the first day
though i wont forget my past
you gave me my first day
i give you my last
this is a new life
though death did pave the way
i just hope i die yesterday
so i wouldn't have to be here to say
you are all that brings me pain
even in the end i still love you
you are all that keeps me sane
i still want to die anyway
why are you still here
you dont need me
why am i still here
i thought you could see
i really could end it all
with you here with me
we are all sunken ships
tapping numb fingertips
i dont know
i never know
i dont need to care
who really gives a shit
if your life isn't fair
but im still here waiting
and all i know is why
i will be here for you tonight
-zak jarrett

GOD OF BLOOD AND RUST
what state of mind
does rust spread with touch
a caress across chest
what comes next
knife to throat
soak the sheets with more than sweat
fill the night with life
straight from the vien

postitioned soft above your face
i gave upon your low-lit skin
just bellow the surface
i feel your heartbeat
i hear the wind blow
i see the blood flow
i hear the angels fall down
each bearing a crimson grin
-goatman

SINGING BELLS
im spending my life teaming
i spend my death
screaming
with all of this madness
can you feal our sadness
a sky once blue
takes on a darker hue
our selfs we are whoring
i find this so boring
but can not break free of it
i try to forget
my past so tainted
i try to survive
i think i've fainted
and the din of the bell
it howls in my head
i sing of death
and those that are dead
one lie
to tie the binds that hold me
shacked down
fucking around
reminded why my mother sold me
light distand in this tunnel
it glares in my eye
now i wonder why
give me time
i will find life
give me time
i'll find reason
to live and love
-zak jarrett aka GOATMAN

EXPOSED
I am hoping for beter days
on this evening of many mishaps
miscalculations of my greater skill
for the durration of my time
i am swinging in the jungles
flying in the sky
without a wonder why
not a single thought inside
mentality overratted
by a world that i have hated
all the simple things
they make me free
its all for me
on this day i return to the fray
i place myself in the line of fire
certainty is slowly leaving me
as my healing heart gives in to desire
hang me yup on the cross
they wounded me past life
but i am alive again
after all i have lost
my louls begun to frost
lucky i've not frozen over
after all i have felt
i still have myself
but now i have her too
and she is good to me
i hope im good for her
even if she knew my pain
she wouldn't run away
more than that i would rather haver her stay
she is the one that didn't flee
i hope she still loves me
when i am completely free
she will se me
-goatman


DELAYED
why is it that every time i look
i expect to see you
why do this expectations try so hard
to make me miss you
i walk these halls alone
though some wait around another corner
i walk these halls for you anew
a thousand times
keep my chin up
watch my posture
my salvation delayed again
id kill just to watch her
saving face
raise my spirits
whisper to me
though far away you sweet voice
i hear it
-zak aka GOATMAN


FALLEN ANGEL
she is the goddess of the blood lake
what she wante she simply takes
cant you see her face is fake
no you cant see a damn thing
she wants more than that
more than fumbled drug induced extescies
i saw her smile
not for me not for anyone
but her self
she saw how sad i was
i had a chance but blew it
now she will fly away
one more bird too early from the nest
just another fallen angel
riding wings of gray
just another fallen angel
what a price she had to pay
just another fallen angel
i will never see her past this day
just another lost love
more heartache from the skys above
raining down like forrbidden mana
dripping from wings of gray
her wings
just another fallen angel
just like me
gone just out of my reach
this is she
-goatman

FLY AWAY
blank sheet of paper
nothing to see here
all is just another word
i use too much
like be or like as ass
for told my concrete foul
mistakes a miss taken away
silly little words you can denounce
or nounce if one were so inclined
to be clinded i never know
cant tell the difference but to differ hence
nothing but a arpled excuse for procrastination
mixed and misspelled pro christ in nation
but my anti-religious impulse to pulse in time with mine
to shine or frown let me down easy or not
to endanger place me in the anger
you are no stranger but stranger still
-goatman

SO LONG SUCKERS
ive gone blind by the light
blighting the sand with white washed bleached bone fence
deter me again
falling into a grave i cant comprehend
why this sadness inside has caught up with me again
quicker i fall the quicker i die
when i strike the ground
swiftly passing by flashes of stone glassy tempered
beyone my resolve
if i could reach out and grab a hand
my tortured mind would release me again
but no one dares to help the one who's dead
my life has been drained in twisting dreams
inside this endless plight
where i hang from the edge of a cliff far away
on a clump of grass that slips through my fingers
then i pass on into the fog
-goatman

IM FAILING LIFE AGAIN
scrawled dumbers passby
a mess of destiny
another failure on the charts
i took another step down
made the time pass by
to maintain what was left
a void in my pockett
leftovers the theives didn't want
i have a target on my head
contigones they aim for me
my weakness make me glow
thats how im seen it seems
a family nearly dead
clinging to books i've never read
in a place that i hate
i make my bed
because im afraid
im afraid of the loneliness
im afraid of the emptiness
im afraid of my loss
i need
need a way to get out of here
but everyone
would see me die
-GOATMAN

LOST IN THE MOMENT
i am a colum of stone
rolling towards thethe inevitable
i shake the ground in passing
nothing stands in my way
but a soft voice on the wind
reaching cold ears and frozen heart
that twist and melt under this small warmth
and halt the ever rolling self
till away from onward destination i roll
less of will and less of pain
the air sings in passing
trees whisper good bidings
till phantom and bemmoth meet
each trapped and bound in suffering
now lessened in the heat
that soft cries in the morning make
-goatman

EARS
there is a way of speaking
that borders on storytelling
but is all about flattery
where the listener waits
for what you have to say
because no matter what it is
its all about them
there is a way of listening
that is close enough to watching
where eyes are usefull words
and gestures are the best answers
in a state of mind
that listeners go
when the speaking is worth the ears
that it takes to hear yourself
-goatman

PREY
I spy a fresh soul
unknown unntainted
ready to be unbound
willing for me to unwind
looking into shallow eyes
preparation to dig them out
skin thats light
makes the blood so red
ready to bleed
to leak whats within
a steady blank canvas
a life without sin
to seed the lust
a mental thrust
i'll spoil with a grin
to taste the lightening
the sheding of innocence
on sweet soaked hollow ground
yearn to break away your self
to burn your sturdy morals tell the echo sounds
release from peace
sepperate from fragile lies
unleash the beast
to splash the red in dark blue eyes
-goatman

I CANT WRITE
it only comes meaningful in the dark
why must i hate myself
and only scorn the light
i force this now
pushing pen to paper just to try
but i cant write
my head is hollow now
these words without meaning
echo in todays good fortune
and im longing for the night
but through it all
i still cant write
what is wrong with me
to be unable to create
without the aid of misery
through it all i must confuss
all i want is happiness
but in this state of yoy and bliss
i cant write
looking for a conclusion
for a thing that could not be
to leave the husk of hell behind
along with hurtfull memories
but should i go and live again
to open up the pages of old friends
i will lose myself to them
and i wont write
i cant write
-goatman

REDEMPTION?
there is a place
between the teeth of a giant
and the steps of a prison
where the bones of knights settle
cracking apart the cement
the eyes massive and owlish
armed guards manning the watchtowers
they look upon the death that was
the exrement of inmates
rust where armor once was
it gathers here
in the place of bones
the remains of those forgotten
who's family and kings
left behind their good deeds
gazing instead at their crimes
with scornfull eyes
a giant is abeast of many men
unstoppable if struck out at alone
but in the place of bones
his teeth are broken
the cracks in the stairs
will tear this place appart
-goatman

THANK YOU
You walked delibratly by
arms crossed over
you didn't see me there
watching you walk pass
the moment is too perfect
so much like before
something in me gives
and i let out a laugh
you turn to see me staring
you smile and something else gives
the space between us is bridged
we share a hug reserved for friends
the last shreds of my exterior fall away
i meet you openly
the time was short you had to go
a gift is what you brought with you
you left me with two
i am smiling now
music so sacred to me
fills the empty house
i watched you go
walking down over the mountain
i watch the distance eat you up
until you are gone
another moment passes
the music shuts off
i am alone again
waiting for a call i know will come
for an emrace of another sort
reserved only for us.
-goatman

UNTITLED HATE
blood on your book
blood on your cross
blood on my face
is burning my mind away
smile in your eyes
you cant desguise
your preachers lies
are tearing this world appart
christain coorperation
like no other
spreading the virus from brother to brother
from father to son mother to daughter
you teach them the rights of descrimination and slaughter
second mind
it tells me why you do this
insecurities not hard to find
each day i expose your lies
-goatman

CHOOSING A PATH TO FREEDOM
good morning job
i've never met you
you stand so far away
i never see you
good morning life
you are so close to me
i see you as everything
with nothing to choose
you stand a wall of shattered hope
what i need is a drawbridge
to cross this plane of lonliness
thhat only i can see
its only a dream
but damnit i can see you
standing so far away
a job a life a love
i tried to let it fall in my lap
only bad luck comes when your angry
im angry again
its sorrow im feeling now
by chance i was let down
a following a simple thing
tommorow tommorow
i hate me today and yesterday
i fixed the game
roll the dice take a chance
i didn't just want in her pants
a job a life a love
distractions for every thing
a life of my own
-goatman

SHINNING BLACK
a million grains of salt
an army of the dead
i strike a enchore
a few fine crystals
i can see
a sacrifice to good for me
a man is measured by his friends
i hate everybody
one more time i throw them away
the pretty one who would have me stay
i got fire in my eyes and a gun to my back
the pretty ones dont see inside
inside im black
black inside
they never see that black can shine
-goatman

THE END OF TWILIGHT
there will be a time forged in molten glass
when the fires of the sun give in
where the beauty of two in one overvomes
all blessed things will be revealed as sin
and in this darkest hour for all
i'll grace you with a grin
we will laugh as the concrete towers fall
most of all at those within
for those bound there are not human
i will rise from the depths of drepravity renewed
here all the roles of old reverse
for every moment i was dead
i'll repay you with a moments bliss
for every tear that you did shed
my soul will find your welcoming lips
and for a awkward silence
i'll give with dignity
the adoration you deserve
fragrent blood will flow from me
-goatman


LAST OF A GENERATION
it would suck
to be the last of a generation
jump on the train
just as it derails
or to stand at the edge
of a conversation lost
wanting more
this experiment has failed
all is done but i stand alone
im still here against all odds
like the walking dead
when all you need is love
no one loves you
dinner fed to late to me
on ten o clock evenings
my movie and ice cream
still cherry
mint all the foul mint
i still love the cold bitter scent
-goatman


MIDNIGHT ROAD
I dont pick up hitchhikers often
just to send them on their way
my vessel rarely serves a purpose
other than to slump around these street lamp
highways
real quiet with bad teeth
so i'll take her as far as she needs to go
and send her on her way
for now i just drive on
huming softly some tune id soon forget
if i wasn't humming
though i cant see it
i spend a bit more gass tonight
extend our greeting without words
as our intimate passion of service and needy goes on
she is so thankfull for me
pickeing her up from the stormy night
she says nothing
i think she is afraid
of lonely midnight crib death
before she can even grave my presence
with a smile not beautiful yet so warm
i begin to wonder why she is here
why one so young would risk her tommarow to travel with me
or am i just a car moving allong
i still love her here even if i cannot speak her tongue
or even touch her though she is so close
her light tug of weight drains me
my immpatience chains me to the wall
it is the iron bolts that seal my eyes from the world
soon i must drop her off
i can see her stop up ahead
she gets out
sends one more heart warming smile and moves on
leaving me to die alone
-goatman